The Three Pillars to Being Unstoppable in Life

Wouldn’t it be sweet to feel more motivated, more alive, more upbeat, more awake, more of the time?

Well now you can! In only three easy payments…

I jest.

You know that feeling you get when you’ve downed three coffees and just got back from the gym and you’re bursting with energy and excitement and new ideas? How good is that feeling?

It’s the best. I wish that it would continue forever. I’m productive, happy and feel like nothing can stop me. In fact, I’m feeling it right now in this cafe in cold, West London. I’m looking around the room and I feel like I own the place.

Obviously some days are just going to be better than others. Sometimes the perfect combination of variables create real drive within us, while at other times, it just doesn’t seem to happen. And sometimes we can feel so down in the dumps that even getting round to doing normal, every day tasks is daunting.

I’ve been thinking about this a lot. I want to feel unstoppable and excited and productive more often, as no doubt you do too.

There are certainly commonalities – at least in the way I experience motivation – that I’ve identified and distilled into three key ‘pillars’.

Simply being aware of these pillars will help lift you up out of a bad mood and change your frame when otherwise you might have just remained stuck.

Knowing this will help you move into an unstoppable mood with more frequency and help keep you out of being unmotivated most of the time.

Remember that knowledge on its own is not power. Positive knowledge acted on is power.

This knowledge will give you enormous power if acted upon. Taking action on any three of the following will have a great effect, though hitting all three will get you closer to ‘unstoppable’…

Pillar #1: Create a GAP from thought

Thoughts are obviously important. At the same time, a big block to feeling good and being focused and motivated is negative thinking and overthinking. A major reason for feeling low is negative and spiralling, rumination.

When our minds are polluted with overthinking, we are distracted, constricted, even paralysed into inaction, even if those thoughts are positive.

BUT – you can’t disconnect yourself from all thoughts and ideas, all the time. Buddhist monks do this, and they spend their days doing next to nothing. That’s not for ambitious men or women like you or I.

You can, however, loosen the hold your own thoughts have on you by creating ‘space’ or a ‘buffer’ away from the mess of thoughts that cloud your mind.

When the power your mind has on you weakens, you are free to dive into action more freely, more authentically and – most importantly – with more focus and less distraction. You are no longer shoving your car into sixth gear when you need to be in third.

There are several ways to create this gap. It means doing anything that gets you ‘out of your head’ and into your body, like lifting weights at the gym, playing sport, getting in flow through painting, deep conscious breathing, doing cardio exercise like cycling or running, talking to a friend, meditation, walking meditation or simply consciously noticing all the details in the environment around you or the sensations in your body for a prolonged period.

Do anything that keeps overthinking at bay for at least ten minutes. All of the previous will help.

A lot of people are against meditation and ‘emptying your mind’ exercises because it’s seemingly a waste of time and unproductive. On the contrary. These detachment exercises clear away the clutter to give room for informed insights and powerful ideas that come with seemingly little effort.


There is truth behind why your best ideas often come to you when doing mundane things (hint: flow, detached from overthinking activities) like showering or shaving. Your mind is at rest focusing on simplicity, and like when you stop stirring a glass of water containing dirt, you begin to experience clarity.

It’s here where your focus and energy will thrive. It’s in these instances of mental clarity that you will begin to feel unstoppable.

Pillar #2: Be unapologetic

This one is huge for feeling unrestrained and unstoppably motivated.

You need to stop apologising for yourself. No matter your background and what you’ve done that you’re ashamed of in the past, you need to drop the self-doubt, and the shame.

I’ve been one of the worst culprits of being ashamed of myself and it’s had one of the most powerful holds on me for most of my life. I’m 31 as I write this. I’ve spent most of twenties ruminating over all the things that I did in school and the mistakes I made later that I just could not get over.

I was very shy in my boarding school in England, and bullied for it in the first year. My shame around the fears I had at school, and not pushing myself out there enough has followed me around like a shadow for years, and I’ve only recently shaken most of it off.

It’s totally stupid and irrational, but it’s contributed to varying levels of social anxiety over many years and has cut me off from too many opportunities to count.

The biggest transition I’ve had in getting over my confidence issues was to make a very simple decision towards the end of my twenties.

That decision was to stop apologising for myself.

That was it – to consciously say that I’m not going to hold myself back anymore because of my past, what society says, and the bad person I falsely believe myself to be – and to truly live in that new frame. This has been hugely liberating.

Of course, I still get anxious and low, and I need to keep reminding myself of this, but over time, being unashamedly content within my own skin is becoming more and more natural (while always pushing for improvement – of course).

You’re not a bad person and you deserve huge success when you work for it.

Really ask yourself:

Are you a bad person at your very core? Do you care for the betterment of yourself and others? Do you want to improve yourself?

Of course you damn do.

Why would a person like you – a truly good person at his core be apologetic or ashamed or doubtful of himself?

It’s not what has happened to you that makes you who you are. It’s who you want to become that makes you who you are right now.

If someone has put you down in the past, what did they know? Nobody knows you but you.

Certainly do not be ashamed of the things you can’t change, like being white, or being black or brown, or yellow, or introverted.

Do not apologise for your own nature. I.e. You’re someone who has learned from your mistakes who is not ashamed of your passionate drives, your wants and desires.

Do not apologise for going after the things you want in life, be that a business doing what you love, making more money, being able to travel, or fighting a cause.

Know that a lot more of your feelings of shame or doubt than you might think, has been drip fed into you via the media and the external world. Most of us have been brought up to be ‘nice’, to not offend anyone and to not make waves.

It’s time to fight back and re-assert your presence in the world, and not only that – to go out and demonstrate your positive and bold presence out amongst people.

The world needs more unapologetic people who have come alive.

Know that you are making a huge contribution simply by not being a massive, apologetic wimp.

The wussification of the Western world is moving forward at full speed. Jump off that train to lamedom – be someone and stand out.

You might have made mistakes in life, but that does not make you a failure of a person.

What matters is how you compose yourself right now despite the failures of the past.

Moving your attitude from that of a victim to an owner is another way to express this same idea.

Get into the habit of walking and talking like an owner. No one owes you shit, just in the same way you do not owe them anything either. So you go out and you stake your claim to what’s yours.

You are the boss because you have chosen to ditch the self hate, and chosen to be the boss. It’s really as simple as that.

This does not need to mean barging around being disrespectful to others and being overly aggressive. Respect others, but own your space and cut the being too nice crap.

Boldness, humour and a hint of aggression are good things.

There you have it. Stop apologising for yourself and feel the nourishment of the confidence that arises from this.

Pillar #3: Set major challenges

Now that you’ve cleared your mind, found focus, and dropped the shame, the final pillar gives you direction and added urgency.

It’s these three elements combined that will make you truly unstoppable no matter where you are in life.

A good reason you could be feeling sluggish is down to not being engaged in something challenging.

What you want is to set yourself short-term challenges that are in line with your greater purpose or mission.

We come alive when we are faced with a challenge that can improve our lives.

You want this challenge to come with an exciting outcome, you want it to be a genuine challenge that takes some balls and some skill, and you want it to be time constrained.

For example, if your mission in life is to end the kidnapping of racoons, you could set yourself the challenge of recording ten new video blogs for your video channel that raises awareness of racoon kidnapping around the world within 30 days.

If I’m feeling down, I always know it’s because I’m not present, possibly feeling doubt in myself, and that I am without an awareness of a purpose I can act on today.

That’s where setting ourselves meaty, interesting, exciting, hell-raising challenges saves the day.

For me, my purpose is in helping myself and others become free, rich and confident, and a current challenge I’ve set myself that excites me is to write a new guide for my readers within the tight timeframe of one week.

The challenge engages me and excites me to get moving, especially knowing that it falls within my wider purpose and gets me a product I can earn money from when it’s done and launched.

A lot of people get hung up in the planning process for reaching their goals, and they give up out of boredom.

You will make huge strides by breaking down your goals into a series of exciting challenges that you set for yourself, one at a time.

These are, for me, the three key elements to becoming a force. Mix in a cup of coffee or tea if you drink it, and you’re set.

The more momentum you build up from small and big wins along the way, like a train picking up speed, the more unstoppable you will be.


  1. Right on, to all of the above. I just got a rejection letter on a project I was really only engaging to fill up some downtime. Then I realized there is no downtime – that time is mine, and I have plenty of my own projects that I need to stop running away from – Great post as always Alex

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